Freebie Alert The Zee Brothers Zombie Exterminators

Grab this one fast it will only be free for a short time.

Click on cover to order!

Synopsis:

Orgasms, Chocolate & Zombies? Just an average day for Jonah, Judas & JJ.

The Zee Brothers have a strange and dangerous vocation. While some hunt rodents or pests in the dark, Jonah and Judas tackle much larger prey… Zombies. Equipped with a well-loved artillery gun, DeeDee, and a much used and somewhat abused pickup truck called Sasha, the duo clear the night of undead pests, keeping the ever present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse at bay.

When the slap happy pair receives an after hours call for extermination that ends in a gurgle, they head out, guns locked and catch pole loaded. It seems that an incredibly foolish developer built a high cost, gated community atop an old indian Reservation – a Reservation that soon became a graveyard and home to magic much older than the flimsy walled homes that tried to take over. Lost in this sea of new houses, an ancient artifact lay buried till the obnoxious Home Owners Association President disturbed it – and awakened the Zombies from their slumber to retrieve it.

Now it’s up to the Brothers to find it and lay the walking dead to rest. Along the way they meet the woman of their dreams, JJ, her magical and disco imbued dog, Xanadu, a denture wearing Zombie and a High Priest that offers a bit more danger than DeeDee can handle.

Filled with pop culture nods and heroes that just don’t know when to quit, it’s a slap happy, blood filled adventure, as the trio fights off zombies and the brothers fight each other for JJ’s affection.

If you like Ash Vs Evil Dead, Army of Darkness and Scooby Doo, you’ll want to buy this action packed romp and dive into The Zee Brother’s adventures today!

About the Author

I take a look at ideas from different angles and write tales that I find interesting. What the heck is a zombie omelet? I didn't know either, until I started writing The Zee Brothers!

My characters tend to banter like eighties super-heroes, a sign of my childhood influence of comic books.

I tend to look for humor even when writing on a serious subject. Did someone just lose their arm? Perhaps we can use it as a weapon on the next page or maybe we try and put it back on because one of the characters once played a doctor during sexy time roll play!

Yes, sometimes its absurd humor, but if it gets you laughing than I've done my job!

My stories are often influenced by my real life events. The old axiom, "Write what you know" manifests to fill the pages. 

Legion of the Damned Excerpt

Just another little taste to whet your appetite. I hope you enjoy it.

Click on the cover to reserve your copy today!

Excerpt:

Falling to his hands and knees he struggled to catch his breath as the cold that had invaded him drained away into the concrete floor beneath him. The image of the stranger was still fixed in his mind as Window became aware of his surroundings, starting with the ever present stench of death that seemed to permeate everything. The floor beneath his hands was coarse, filthy, stained with a dark substance, a black splotch in the faint light filtering through the slats of the building around him.

To his right was a table, half hidden in shadows, cobwebs gathered among the legs, moving gently in a soft breeze coming from somewhere on his left. Crawling to the table he reached up with one hand to pull himself up, but he jerked his hand back when it came into contact with a cold, gelatinous, substance that stained his flesh black. Instead he used the legs to pull himself to his feet, and stood unsteadily for a moment as his head throbbed. From the shadows around him came the faint sound of distant footsteps that sparked a momentary panic. Like the sound of a stone skipping across the surface of a silent pond, the footsteps faded in and out of focus in the deep shadows that surrounded him.

He was right there, on the other side of that thin veil separating mankind from the insanity that waited just beyond view. He felt his presence, and all he had to do was reach through to pull him back across.

The thought sent Window staggering back. He stumbled into something hanging from the ceiling that moved in response to his touch. It bumped into his back as the soft sound of steel rubbing against steel came form the darkness above his head.  He spun around and saw the torso of a body hanging from a steel hook. 

End Excerpt

Synopsis:

Hell was coming to Paradise!

In a remote desert world that bore little semblance to their own, the boys corner and kill Nickoli. Unfortunately the act fails to release Window from his curse, and they discover that a much higher price must be paid to free him.

Struggling to silence the voices from his past, Billie-Bob’s drinking results in his capture by the family of cannibals he once escaped from. This time he is taken to Paradise, a small compound along one of the many tributaries leading to the Chesapeake Bay. For those who lived there it was truly a paradise on earth, for its captives it was a different story as they were reduced to nothing more than livestock to feed a growing population.

While following the trail left by Billie-Bob’s captors, Meat, Window and Einstein come upon the shattered remnants of the church that had given them shelter on their trek north. Many of the church’s inhabitants had perished in the attack, but most of the children had been able to escape. They join the boys on their journey south to rescue Billie-Bob, and exact their vengeance on those who had shattered their peaceful existence.

Hell was coming to Paradise, and there would be no denying its vengeance.

Special Offer

Get all three books, over 550 pages of post apocalyptic adventure for less than the regular price of one. Order books one and two for only $0.99 each, and reserve book 3 for the same low price.

But you better hurry!

This deal won't last forever!

Click on the image above to order!

Dreadland Chronicles

There are worlds beyond our own, existing for purposes outside of our understanding, where gods roam unfettered by the earthly restraints placed upon us. Where right is wrong, where the laws of physics have been turned upon their ear, and not everything that goes up, comes back down. Places where magic rules, and technology is but a faint memory from a distant past.

Fourteen years ago a cataclysm shook the realms of this multiverse as a rising tide of evil rose up to battle those in power. Many of the worlds ceased to exist in the blink of an eye. On our world the dead walked, bringing society to its knees. The technology we had taken for granted stopped working as a new dark age filtered across the land. An age of unrestrained brutality where the only law was the firepower one carried, and the only hope was for a quick death followed by a dreamless sleep.

While you're here, don't forget to subscribe to my mailing list.
Every month I give away a personally autographed print copy of one of my books to one person chosen at random from my subscribers.

I'll also give you a free copy of my novel White Walker just for signing up, follow the link below.

http://www.eepurl.com/2bYSf

Legion of the Damned Excerpt

Excerpt!

As the stranger lifted his head a pointed beard emerged, carefully groomed, hanging like a pendulum beneath the thin line of his narrow lips. Ever so slowly his lips spread into a wide smile that covered the lower portion of his face, threatening to split his head in half. Window formed a brief mental image of that smile spreading all the way around until the strangers head tilted back. As if it were hinged in the back, the top part of his head flopping over to reveal what lay at the heart of his dark, and sinister soul.

He didn’t want to see what might emerge if the stranger’s head did flip all the way open, and he was relieved when the smile remained bound to the strangers face. Above that emotionless smile, situated on either side of a slender nose, the strangers eyes sparkled with a dim light that were like distant stars shrouded in the mists of time.

“You’ve come home to me,” the stranger whispered, the words distorted, ricocheting through Windows mind like a mad pinball banking crazily from one bumper to the next, gaining speed with every change in direction, awakening memories that emerged from the rocky soil of his soul.

He saw his mother on the day of her death, that electric cord twisted tightly about her neck, reaching for him with claw like hands as her mouth opened and closed in greedy anticipation. He saw his father staggering towards him, groping through the twilight of his death, destined to be trapped for eternity in that shadowy place between life and the peace of the grave.

As the words echoed through Window’s mind, the timber of the stranger's voice like that of two boulders grinding against one another in the bowels of the earth. Window understood with a clarity that had so far been absent, that he was gazing into the face of eternity, a manifestation of something far greater than anything he could possibly put his mind around. He was without a beginning, or an end, one that has just, always been.

“No,” Window shouted, clamping his hands over his ears as he took another step back, the images of everyone he had ever loved filling his thoughts, their faces cast in the shadow of death, their eyes alight, begging for an end to their misery.

“Leave me alone,” Window said as he staggered another step back.

Was that nine or eight?

He had lost track.

End Excerpt!

Synopsis:

Hell was coming to Paradise!

In a remote desert world that bore little semblance to their own, the boys corner and kill Nickoli. Unfortunately the act fails to release Window from his curse, and they discover that a much higher price must be paid to free him.

Struggling to silence the voices from his past, Billie-Bob’s drinking results in his capture by the family of cannibals he once escaped from. This time he is taken to Paradise, a small compound along one of the many tributaries leading to the Chesapeake Bay. For those who lived there it was truly a paradise on earth, for its captives it was a different story as they were reduced to nothing more than livestock to feed a growing population.

While following the trail left by Billie-Bob’s captors, Meat, Window and Einstein come upon the shattered remnants of the church that had given them shelter on their trek north. Many of the church’s inhabitants had perished in the attack, but most of the children had been able to escape. They join the boys on their journey south to rescue Billie-Bob, and exact their vengeance on those who had shattered their peaceful existence.

Hell was coming to Paradise, and there would be no denying its vengeance.

Special Offer

Get all three books, over 550 pages of post apocalyptic adventure for less than the regular price of one. Order books one and two for only $0.99 each, and reserve book 3 for the same low price.

But you better hurry!

This deal won't last forever!

Click on the image above to order!

Dreadland Chronicles

There are worlds beyond our own, existing for purposes outside of our understanding, where gods roam unfettered by the earthly restraints placed upon us. Where right is wrong, where the laws of physics have been turned upon their ear, and not everything that goes up, comes back down. Places where magic rules, and technology is but a faint memory from a distant past.

Fourteen years ago a cataclysm shook the realms of this multiverse as a rising tide of evil rose up to battle those in power. Many of the worlds ceased to exist in the blink of an eye. On our world the dead walked, bringing society to its knees. The technology we had taken for granted stopped working as a new dark age filtered across the land. An age of unrestrained brutality where the only law was the firepower one carried, and the only hope was for a quick death followed by a dreamless sleep.

While you're here, don't forget to subscribe to my mailing list.
Every month I give away a personally autographed print copy of one of my books to one person chosen at random from my subscribers.

I'll also give you a free copy of my novel White Walker just for signing up, follow the link below.

http://www.eepurl.com/2bYSf

The Reaping: Excerpt #3

Coming June 24, 2016

Reserve your copy today.

Amazon

Upon the release of THE REAPING, the first book in the Dreadland Chronicles ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR, will be free the weekend of June 24, 25, and 26. Grab a copy and leave an honest  review before the end of July, and you will be entered into a drawing where one lucky person will receive this one of a kind 22oz sealed lid candy jar. I'll even sweeten the deal by throwing in the first 10 oz bag of your favorite candy.

The three images are of one jar as the design wraps halfway around the jar.  

I will ship this to the winner anywhere in the world, but the review for ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR must be on Amazon.com, and must go live by midnight July 31, 2016 . Based on customs I may not be able to include candy. Sorry, that's the breaks. As an added bonus everyone in the U.S (sorry I have to restrict this part, I just don't have the money for international shipping on everything) who leaves an honest review will receive an autographed bookmark.

You will find the particulars at the end of this post. So without further delay let's get on with this post.

Man is no longer alone at the top of the food chain.

From the East a new threat to a struggling civilization emerges, spreading across the land like a cancerous stain, leaving in its wake the shattered remnants of a species teetering on the brink of extinction.

In Bryn Mawr Window is bitten by a Vampire and becomes infected. He struggles against the rising blood lust, viewing each of his friends as a potential meal. They set out to the East in search of a cure.

Along the way they learn more about the nature of the world they inhabit, their own past, and the part they each play in a potential future. They cross paths with a shadowy figure who leaves small tokens from each of their own history. Little objects that carry powerful emotions linked to a major change in their past lives.

Arriving in Washington D.C they are confronted by the vampire master who reveals the cold truth about the cosmos. 

Excerpt:


The rustling in the back stopped, replaced by the sound of footsteps coming towards them. They raised their pistols, aiming at the spot they anticipated the one approaching would appear.

A small child stepped into the light, the front of her moldy dress covered by a black stain, the once blonde ringlets of hair on her head lay lifeless and dead against her scalp. Her eyes burned with an internal red light that resembled the color of freshly spilled blood.

Meat backed into window who fired into the basement, the muzzle flash momentarily blinding them. In the afterimage that was imprinted upon their retinas, and would become burned into their memories for the rest of their lives, that shadowy section of the basement the young girl had emerged from was exposed. It was like a snapshot from the lowest levels of hell. Corpses had been hung by their ankles from the rafters above, their blood draining into a varied assortment of pots and pans.

Several of the corpses had been eviscerated, the ropy strands of their intestines lying on the blood stained floor. Two had been skinned, the meat of their exposed muscles appeared to have the texture of dried meat, and here and there it was obvious something had been at the flesh, gnawing at the meat. All of this they saw in an instant, with the full details only emerging later when they had time to reflect upon the horrors they had witnessed.

“Stop!” Meat shouted at the girl who continued to approach them, her glowing red eyes seeming to float in the shadows.

“I mean it, I will shoot.” Meat said, the gun wavering in his hand as he appeared to be having an internal battle with himself. Shooting a child was the most difficult thing any of them had ever faced.

She continued to approach.

“Please stop,” he said in voice that had lost its earlier power, the comment more a request than a command. Yet she continued to walk towards them.

When she was less than ten feet away Meat fired, the roar of his .45 caliber pistol reverberating from the block walls around them. Legendary for its stopping power the .45 caliber slug slammed into the little girl’s chest, knocking her off her feet as the soft nosed slug mushroomed on impact with flesh and bone, tearing through the little girl’s body to emerge from her back, carrying with it most of her right lung and a good portion of her heart.

But the dead had no use for these things.

The undead even less.

End Excerpt


How to enter:

On the weekend of June 24, 25, and 26 download a free copy of ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR from  AMAZON . Before the end of July leave your honest review for ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR and send an email with the link to me at rschiver@gmail.com. The names will be placed in a hat, or jar, or bowl depending on how many I get and my wife will draw the winner. I will contact the winner on August 1st and will announce the name here.

It's that simple, get a free book, leave a review, and maybe you'll win. For those of you in the U.S I'll also send an autographed bookmark, pictured below, just for your trouble. I know it's not much, but I'd just like to say thanks for taking the time to help me out.

The Reaping: Excerpt #2

Coming June 24, 2016

Reserve your copy today.

Amazon

Upon the release of THE REAPING, the first book in the Dreadland Chronicles ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR, will be free the weekend of June 24, 25, and 26. Grab a copy and leave an honest  review before the end of July, and you will be entered into a drawing where one lucky person will receive this one of a kind 22oz sealed lid candy jar. I'll even sweeten the deal by throwing in the first 10 oz bag of your favorite candy. 

The three images are of one jar as the design wraps halfway around the jar.  

I will ship this to the winner anywhere in the world, but the review for ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR must be on Amazon.com, and must go live by midnight July 31, 2016 . Based on customs I may not be able to include candy. Sorry, that's the breaks. As an added bonus everyone in the U.S (sorry I have to restrict this part, I just don't have the money for international shipping on everything) who leaves an honest review will receive an autographed bookmark.

You will find the particulars at the end of this post. So without further delay let's get on with this post. 

Man is no longer alone at the top of the food chain.

From the East a new threat to a struggling civilization emerges, spreading across the land like a cancerous stain, leaving in its wake the shattered remnants of a species teetering on the brink of extinction.

In Bryn Mawr Window is bitten by a Vampire and becomes infected. He struggles against the rising blood lust, viewing each of his friends as a potential meal. They set out to the East in search of a cure.

Along the way they learn more about the nature of the world they inhabit, their own past, and the part they each play in a potential future. They cross paths with a shadowy figure who leaves small tokens from each of their own history. Little objects that carry powerful emotions linked to a major change in their past lives.

Arriving in Washington D.C they are confronted by the vampire master who reveals the cold truth about the cosmos. 

Excerpt:

“Yes mamma,” Lenny said before running off to retrieve the body. The old woman watched him go, her hand on the handle of her knife as she turned her attention back on her captives. Billie-Bob stirred, groaning as he groggily sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

“Where am I?” Billie-Bob said.

“Don’t you worry none about that,” the old woman said as she stepped closer to the bars.

“Who are you? Why am I in this cage? What’s going on?” Billie-Bob said, pushing himself up to his knees and wrapping his hands around the rusted bars.

“You’ll find out soon enough, and if you’re good, maybe we’ll let you live.”

Billie-Bob sat back, still groggy, his confusion mounting as he looked to each of the captives who refused to meet his gaze, keeping their eyes downcast as Lenny returned with Caleb’s body draped over his shoulder. The old woman had turned away to watch as Lenny approached and Billie-Bob slipped a pistol from his boot.

They had learned their lessons well in Richmond.

“Where should I put him, Mamma?”

“In the cage with the others, they can keep him company till we get home.”

Lenny opened the door and dropped Caleb’s lifeless body inside, when he looked up he was staring down the barrel of Billie-Bob’s revolver. His eyes widened as he took a step back, turning his head as he cried out for his mamma with an inarticulate grunt. Billie-Bob squeezed off a shot, the report sharp and harsh, surprising the old woman who spun around just as the back of Lenny’s head exploded, spraying her face with blood, brains, and bits of bone.

The old woman ducked to the right as Lenny dropped to the ground, racing around the cart towards the front where Billie-Bob’s rifle lay. She cried out in anguished rage as Billie-Bob climbed down from the back of the wagon and followed her. Stepping around the corner he came face to face with the old woman who held his rifle at her shoulder, her finger curled around the trigger.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you,” Billie-Bob said as he held his hand out in a defensive manner. The end of the barrel was packed with earth from where it had obviously been jammed into the ground.

“Don’t tell me what to do boy,” she said with a sneer as her finger tightened on the trigger.  

Billie-Bob ducked and covered his head as the sound of the barrel exploding was followed by a high pitched whine of agony. The old woman lay on the ground on her back, squirming in agony with her hands pressed over her face. Dark red blood gushed from between her fingers as her feet scrabbled at the ground, causing the hem of her skirt to ride up her fat, and hairy legs.

Billie-Bob left her as he returned to the back of the cart where the two women and children waited. Helping them out one of the women turned to him and said. “Aren’t you going to do anything for her?”

“What did she do for you?” Billie-Bob replied, holding the woman’s stare for a moment before turning from the cart and the screaming woman.

End Excerpt

How to enter:

On the weekend of June 24, 25, and 26 download a free copy of ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR from  AMAZON . Before the end of July leave your honest review for ALL ROADS LEAD TO TERROR and send an email with the link to me at rschiver@gmail.com. The names will be placed in a hat, or jar, or bowl depending on how many I get and my wife will draw the winner. I will contact the winner on August 1st and will announce the name here.

It's that simple, get a free book, leave a review, and maybe you'll win. For those of you in the U.S I'll also send an autographed bookmark, pictured below, just for your trouble. I know it's not much, but I'd just like to say thanks for taking the time to help me out.